More Stats, More Class Prep, More Obscenity! (Sorry)

RE: Fairy Tale Poem Revision

Stanzas revised this morning: 2 (One of them was really ****ed up and needed lots of attention)
Stanzas revised yesterday morning: 6 (because I didn't revise on Tuesday -- I prepared a submission instead)
Stanzas revised (total): 17
Stanzas that need revision: 72

So there's some progress made. 

Yesterday I spent a lot of time fighting with my scanner so that I could create handouts for my creative writing class; I wondered if I was being counter-productive around Hour Two of this battle, and then felt better when I realized that the time I spent reflecting on the pieces I was copying would serve me well in the classroom. It's not wasted time, it's just really slow class-prep. That's what I'm telling myself anyway. 

I'm so far behind. I haven't found a puppy-sitter/dog walker yet, either, and it's getting down to the wire. Out of the two leads I received (I solicited our local pet store and my brother-in-law for names & phone numbers), one hasn't bothered to call me back and the other told me she didn't provide service to our town. 

So I'm probably fucked. (Let's just print the whole obscenity this time, shall we?) There's a sitter website that I'll use today as a last resort, but it's going to involve paying a fee and even then I'm not guaranteed I'll find anyone within such a short time frame.

I'm awesomely prepared. Really thought this new-dog thing through. I realized last week, during our more reflective moments in Leadership Training (blech) that I've become better at saying no to the college when they ask me to take on new responsibilities, but I have a more difficult time saying no to my own impulses and the sometimes-not-so-well-thought-out wishes of my family.

My wonderful therapist M. says that these are all wonderful things, (the baby on the way, the new puppy) and that my only problem is that I have too much "good stuff" happening, and that I should keep this in mind when I begin to berate myself. This is harder to do than she thinks. I have a house I can barely take care of, children I can barely take care of, pets I can barely take care of, a career I let direct my life far too much (academia), a second career I care far more about but that doesn't actually pay the bills, and a husband who's extremely patient considering he lives with a complete fucking mess of a person.

And now I shall begin my day.

Comments

Elizabeth said…
I can't take care of my one bedroom apartment, let alone a house. And my dogs have matted hair, and my cat is right now yowling at God know's what. And I'm on sabbatical. Not to mention Prozac. And the occasional Xanax. No kids. No husband. No puppy. I think you're amazing. Piles of laundry? Who cares, as long as everyone is dressed in something. I think you're amazing.
sarah gutowski said…
I love you, L.C. You are so good for my self-esteem! However, you might change your mind if you could see what the boy wears to school some days . . . (of course, that has more to do with his stubborn little nature, less to do with the dirty laundry. In fact, he'd opt to wear the dirty laundry over the clean laundry most days. The boy does have his favorite items).
Sending big hugs and energy your way!

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